Squall's Diary
by PerfectIsBoring
Summary: ~Five years after the game ends~ Squall dies in battle and his friends decide to read his old diary, discovering secrets better left unknown. PG13 for language and some themes. Chapter 3 is up! Chapter 4 is coming soon! ^_^ *juicy-ness ahead*
1. Prologue

_Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this story...except Zell. He **IS** mine! *cough*_  
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**Squall's Diary - Prologue**

"Squall...", Rinoa cried as she stared into the oak casket, where her husband lay. "How could you do this to me? Why'd you have to go and die on me!?"

"Rinoa," Zell patted her on the back, "Come n'sit down now. The funeral's gonna start".

Zell led the heartbroken Rinoa to a seat in the front row of the chapel. The two former friends of Squall sat beside Selphie, Quistis and Irvine. They said nothing to each other. Their tears spoke louder than any words could. The five teenagers wore all black; even Selphie.

Headmaster Cid approached the podium at the front of the room. "Hello all; Garden students and friends. Today, we're here to mourn the death -and celebrate the life- of Squall Leonhart, a former student at the Garden. He was a noble young man and died in the course of duty".

_ Five years after the battle against Ultemicia, Squall - now a teacher at Balamb Garden - was asked to battle, one last time, with Seifer. The two rivals headed out to the beach beside Balamb. With no spectators, they battled. For hours on end, they fought; neither man giving up. At long last, the two males grew tired; Squall more so than Seifer. He fell to the ground slowly and Seifer, letting his competitiveness get the best of him, slashed Squall across the chest. Squall struggled to stand up, but Seifer attacked again, leaving an bloody 'X' soaking through Squall's white shirt. He walked away, caring not about Squall's health but only that he had won. He had finally won..._

After Squall's body was lowered into the ground, everybody started to leave while his closest friends remained.

"Rinoa," Selphie asked, "Are you alright?"

Rinoa shook her head, "No. I loved him. He's gone now".

"Yo, I hate to bring this up now, but what about Seifer?", Zell asked, looking into the cloudy sky.

"He won't be persecuted. Squall entered the battle willingly", Quisis explained.

"But it wasn't fair!" Selphie cried.

"Yes...I know, but that's the law".

"So, there's nothing we can do?", Irvine asked.

"No".

Zell kicked the grass and cursed under his breath.

"Maybe we should get back to the Garden, guys", Selphie suggested.

Rinoa nodded.

* * * 

The group gathered in the large dorm Squall shared with Rinoa; their 'apartment'. Irvine sat in a small chair as Selphie placed herself on his lap while Quistis and Zell sat on the couch. Rinoa wandered about the kitchen, shaking and knocking various objects to the floor.

"Maybe you should take a seat", Irvine said.

"I'm just...looking for something!", Rinoa called as another unknown item fell to the ground. She then ran to the only bedroom. Five minutes later, she returned to the small living room with a little, ragged booklet.

"Uh...What's that?", Zell asked, skeptically.

"It's Squall's diary. I always wanted to take a peek inside, but he never let me".

"Are you sure you should be looking in that now?", Quistis asked.

"Yes! Come on, guys, lets just take a look."

The group nodded.

Rinoa opened the book to the first page and started to read... 


	2. Chapter 1

**Squall's Diary - Chapter One**

Just as Rinoa opened her mouth, Zell shot up from his seat and placed his hand over the page Rinoa's eyes had been scanning. "Wh-What if you find out something you don't wanna know?"

"Don't be so cynical, Zell!", Selphie called, anxiously waiting to hear the contents of Squall's diary read to her.

"Yeah...I doubt we'd find anything we didn't already know", Rinoa said.

Zell sighed and sat down again.

Rinoa found her place in on the page and began to read. "This is my first day at Balamb Garden. I don't know anyone here. I met two Garden assistant guys. They were pretty rude. The took almost all of my stuff!..Not that I had that much to being with. I only have my one outfit and a few Timber Maniac magazines. Uh-oh...Headmaster "Cid"'s calling all of the new students to the lobby. Better get goin'...".

_The 13-year-old Squall ran from his small dorm to the lobby where Headmaster Cid, two Garden Assistants and three other students stood. The Headmaster had a comforting air about him. He made Squall feel at ease with his first few words._

_"Welcome, young men and women, to Balamb Garden", he said, smiling._

_Squall nodded along with the other students._

_"I'm assuming you're all very tired from your long trips, so I'll make this short. Training will begin tomorrow. Gather here at 8am and there will be a teacher waiting here for you"._

_The four nodded once again._

_Cid laughed. "You're going to have to learn to be more vocal!"_

_And, nodded again, they did._

_"Hm...", Cid pondered, "How about I leave you alone and you can talk amongst yourselves for a while?"._

_"Okay!", a short female with brown pigtails called._

_Cid chuckled and headed up the stairs with the two Garden Assistants following close behind._

_"So..." the pig-tailed girl started, "what are your names? I'm Bette!"_

_"Nida", a young man, with long hair, replied. _

_"Xu", the other female said._

_"Uhm...Squall"._

_"Wow! You guys have cool names!", Bette said, full of excitement._

_Xu smiled. "Thanks!"_

_"Hey, I'm not really tired!" Bette rocked back on her heels, "Anybody wanna go to the library with me?"._

_"Sure", Xu said, "I'm too excited to sleep!"_

_"Nah" Squall looked upwards "I'm really tired. I better get to sleep if I wanna wake up early"._

_"Oh" Bette's faced seemed to sink into a kind of dissapointment._

_"Well, we'll see you tomorrow", Xu called, pulling Bette in the direction of the library._

_"Are you coming, Nida?", Bette called to you young man, feeling left out._

_Nida ran and caught up to the two females. And they walked off together, leaving Squall alone in the lobby, with only the echoes of their footsteps._

_He went back to his room and opened his diary. _

"I met Headmaster Cid", Rinoa continued. "He was really nice! I also met a few students here! Bette, Nida and Xu! Bette's kinda cute, you know! I think I might ask her out!".

Rinoa closed the book, "B-bette?".

Irvine laughed. "Hey, that's Zell's pigtail girl!"

Zell's eyes widened. "Whoa...Squall had his eye on _my_ girl". He sat up tall in his chair as a smug look took over his face.

"T-that's not funny!", Rinoa called.

" '_Squall_'s pigtail girl' has a nice ring to it", Selphie remarked.

"Yo, now _that's_ not funny!" Zell sunk into his seat.

Selphie, Irvine and Quistis burst into laughter.

Rinoa sighed. "Let's just continue reading, okay?" She opened the book once again and took a seat, in between Zell and Quistis. 

_"Maybe I **will** find out something I didn't want to know..."_, Rinoa thought to herself, as she opened her mouth to read the next entry in Squall's Diary.

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_Chapter 2's coming up soon! ^-^_


	3. Chapter 2

**Squall's Diary - Chapter Two**

Rinoa cleared her throat. "It's 7:30am. I don't wanna get up. It's too early. But..Bette's gonna be there. I really wanna see her. I hope they don't work us too hard. I mean, we're only 13!".

_Squall changed out of street clothes - which were also his pyjamas - and into his new Garden uniform. It was royal blue with golden lining. He buttoned the last button feeling important, full of pride. He then ran out of his dorm, past the cafeteria, quad and infirmary, to the lobby. This time, Cid was not there. A young woman wearing a black uniform was there, in his place. But the same three students were there: Bette, Xu and Nida._

_"Squall!", Bette yelled, waving her arms wildly._

_"Hey, Squall" Nida smiled._

_"You missed out on some fun last night at the library", Nida remarked sarcastically._

_"Hey! It was fun!" Bette tapped him on the shoulder, "Right, Xu?"_

_"Uh...Yes?"_

_Bette sighed. "You guys just don't know fun!"_

_"Alright, children. Listen up!", the woman said as she stepped forward, "I'm instructor Noli. Today we'll take a tour of Balamb Garden and then, begin to train. First, on our tour, the library!"_

_Nida and Xu groaned as Bette squealed with delight._

_The students followed the instructor to the entrance to the library. The tour was very short and uninformational. Instructor Noli stood outside of each of the Garden's sections and gave a brief description of it, leaving the students wondering. The final place that was visited was the Training Room._

_"Okay! The final stop on our tour is...the training room!", Instructor Noli said._

_"Yay?", Squall remarked, dryly._

_The other students snickered._

_Noli, ignoring the remark, continued, "This is where we will train for one hour everyday. Sometimes you will be in the classroom on the second floor for written tests and such"._

_"When do we get to start battling?", Nida asked._

_"In a few weeks, but it depends on how quickly you learn to use your weapon"._

_"W-weapons" Bette stepped backwards._

_"Yes. Don't be afraid. You'll learn quickly and you won't get hurt"._

_"So...do we choose our own weapons?", Squall asked._

_"Yes" She then kneeled on the ground and started to search for something._

_The students looked at each other, sharing the same skeptical look._

_"Aha! Found it!", Instructor Noli pulled a small, barely noticeable lever in the ground. A compartment opened up, revealing weapons, of all shapes and sizes. "Alright, take your pick! Make sure to hold the handles!"_

_The children gathered around the weapons and reached inside the hole. Nida grabbed and pair of Nunchakus and Xu took some small boxing gloves._

_"Ah...I don't know what to choose" Better stared into the compartment, half confused, half excited._

_"Just take whatver looks good to you", Squall suggested just as a young blonde man walked by._

_Bette smiled at the young man and then, looked at Squall. "**That** looks good to me", she said._

_Squall's mouth hung open._

_Bette watched the unknown boy closely as he walked away and finally pulled a sharp, boomerang-like weapon out of the hole._

_Squall managed to close his mouth. He reached into the hole, pulling out a gun...a gun with a sword on the end, like a bayonette._

_"Take a partner", Instructor Noli called._

_Bette grabbed Squall by the arm. "You're my partner, okay?" She smiled._

_Squall smiled as well, still trying to believe that she was actually touching him._

_Nida took Xu as his partner._

_"Now, stand a few feet away from your partner"._

_The two pairs stood across from each other. As Bette left his side, a feeling of lonliness took over._

_"Squall, Nida hold your weapons in front of you, hands on both ends, so that it's guarding your chest area._

_They did as they were told._

_"Xu and Bette, attack them!"_

_Before Nida and Squall could move, Xu ran to Nida and punched him in the face with the silver-knuckled boxing gloves and Bette threw her boomerang in a random direction, having it hit no one. _

_"Where'd it go?", Squall inquired, looking at the ceiling._

_"I dunno..." Bette looked around._

_"Maybe it--", Squall said, turning to face Bette, only to be confronted by a metal boomerang. It struck his' forehead and knocked him to the ground._

***

_Squall sat up, facing new surroundings. He was in a small glass room with an open door._

_"Oh my god!!!", Bette squealed, from the stool beside his bed. "You're awake! I'm so sorry!"._

_"It's...okay.", Squall said, still dazed._

_She smiled. "You know, you don't have to go to classes this week. You get to sit in your room and read magazines!...You might get a little homework, but that's all!"_

_"A-alright"_

_"I'll let you rest for a while. I'm gonna come and visit you all this week, okay?"_

_Squall tried to hide his smile as Bette left the room._

Rinoa read the diary, her eyes glued to the page, "I was hit with Bette's boomerang during practice today!"

"That's a metaphor if I ever heard one", Irvine said, smiling.

Rinoa narrowed her eyes at him. "Anyways," she started to read again, "I just got out of the infirmary. I get to stay in my dorm all week! No classes at all! That best part is...Bette's going to come and visit me...everyday!". She then closed the diary.

"Whhhyyyyy?", Selphie whined, "Keep reading!".

Rinoa opened the diary once more and quickly read through the next few pages in her head. She closed it once more. "It's just some magazine clippings and rantings about Bette's visits to him.

"That's alright!", Selphie cried.

"You know, that diary's pretty thick", Quistis said, "Maybe you should just read the parts that are significant".

"Yeah..." Rinoa pondered and opened the book once more. She flipped through the pages until something caught her eye. She started to read. "It's been almost three months since I last wrote in this diary. Oh well...Nothing interesting happened anyway. In training, we used some Guarding Force things. They're pretty cool...but, I feel like I'm missing something. Oh! I found out that blonde guy's name! His name is Zell. He seems so familiar, it's like I know him from somewhere...And, I'm gonna ask Bette out today!".

_Squall paced back and forth in the library after his training session finished. He browsed through a few books: 'Mechanics of the Garden', 'The History of Gunblades' and 'Run, Pupurin, Run'. Nothing peaked his interest as he was too restless. He tried hard to not too move to keep his hair in place. He wanted to look his best for Bette._

_Minute years passed as he awaited Bette's arrival. Finally she appeared beneath the library's door frame. The angel, adorned in blue and gold clothing with ribbons in her hair, waved her arms at Squall and everybody disappeared. Only Bette and Squall remained in the library and the lights went dim. She glided towards him on Cloud 9._

_"W-will you go out with me, Bette?", Squall asked, shaking in fear of rejection._

_"Uhm..." She spoke like angel as well; so articulate._

_"We can go to Balamb after class one day!" His eyes lit up. _

_"Squall" She took his hand "I can't. I just...can't"._

_And with those words, she let his hand fall to his side, running from the room. The lighting was bright and left Squall in a daze. His cloud was pulled from beneath him and everybody was there to see him fall._

_"Bette..."_

"She turned me down" Rinoa tried to hide her smirk, but failed. "I can't believe it. I thought she really liked me. It's...not fair. I guess I should stop getting my hopes up. But...I think, I...loved her".

"Awwwwwwwwwwwwww", Selphie whined, "That's so sad!!"

"I had no idea..." Quistis said, "He really liked Bette, didn't he?"

"He...loved her" Rinoa stared into the small coffee table.

"But, he _married_ you!", Zell said.

"He would have married her if she hadn't turned him down".

"Don't think like that!", Selphie cried.

"He loved you and only you" Quistis said, trying to comfort her friend.

"Yeah..."

"But, do you think this is what made him so..." Irvine searched for the word "...cynical?"

"Maybe", Quistis said.

Irvine nodded.

"So," Zell piped up "Let's look in the diary some more. This is gettin' good'!

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_Chapter 3's coming soon! ^.^ Things are gonna get interesting! Ou! And, thanks soooooo much for the great reviews! ^^_


	4. Chapter 3

**Squall's Diary - Chapter Two**

"You know what, Zell?" Rinoa stood up, "I can't read this anymore. How about you do it?" She handed the diary to him. He took it from her pale hand and opened it. Rinoa sat down once again.

"Uhm..." Zell opened the book, skipping past the pages Rinoa had already read. "Here we go!" He then started to read. "I talked to this Zell guy today. He's pretty nice. Kinda hot too...I wish I could just get him in bed and fuck 'im like crazy!"

"Hey!" Rinoa snatched the book from Zell. "He didn't write that!" She read through the page. "Yeah...He didn't write that!".

"No more reading for you, Zell", Selphie said. She hopped off of Irvine's lap and took the book from Rinoa. "I'll read, okay?". She found the place where Zell had stopped. "He's pretty nice. Way too hyper though. Our class was combined with two other classes of new Garden students. Some of the people I've got to know are Quistis, Seifer and Zell. Quistis is really smart and Seifer hates me for some reason. Bette always flirts with Zell and he seems to enjoy it. I'm actually jealous now. Well, class is going to start soon".

_Squall sat in the back of the large second floor classroom, waiting for class to start._

_"Hey!", he heard someone call from behind him, "Move!". It was Seifer._

_Squall turned around in his seat and there stood Seifer, arms crossed. "No", Squall said._

_"What? Are you...disobeying me?"_

_"Yeah" Squall stood up._

_"Don't fuck like that with me", Seifer said as he shoved Squall, almost pushing him down the aisle._

_ Squall composed himself. "I'm not afraid of you"_

_"You must be out of your mind!"_

_"I'm not out of mind. I'm just not a pushover. I'm not one of those weak little kids that that you think you can treat like garbage"_

_He shoved Squall again. This time, Squall retaliated, punching Seifer in him stomach. Seifer clenched his stomach and his eyes filled with tears. Squall stared down at him, smirking. Seifer finally gained enough strength to stand up straight, his eyes now full of anger. Squall dashed down the aisle and out of the classroom._

_He sprinted down the hallway, past a Garden assisstant, who joined the chase also (due to Garden code 1:5, 'Do not run in the halls'). Squall darted into the empty elevator and pressed the L1 button rapidly. He paced back and forth for the five seconds it took the elevator to reach the first floor._

_Squall ran through the lobby and into the library. He dived beneath a desk at the back of the room and waited: for Seifer to beat the crap out of him, for the Garden assistant to punish him._

_Hours passed and **nobody** had found him; not even any of the library workers. Finally, he heard a familiar voice. "Hello. Where are the romance novels?", the young, female voice asked. He heard her footsteps move closer to him. Just as she passed the desk he resided beneath, he grabbed her leg._

_"Ah! Squall!", Quistis yelled while trying to shake free of Squall's grasp._

_"Shhhh" Squall let her leg go. "Don't let anybody know I'm here"._

_"Alright" She kneeled down "Aren't you hungry?"_

_"Well...yes, but I'll wait"_

_"Till when?"_

_"Later"_

_"You're gonna die of starvation!"_

_"It's better than being killed by Seifer"_

_"He's not gonna kill you!", She sat down and crossed her legs._

_"No! Don't sit here!"_

_"Why?"_

_"Someone's gonna see you talking to somebody underneath a desk and they'll find me!"_

_"Fine", she sighed as she stood up. "But when I become an instructor, I'll be allowed to talk to people under desks as much as I want". She spun around quickly and walked off._

"I had to sit underneath a desk all day", Selphie read, "It was so boring! I talked with Quistis for a while though. She's a bit...odd. Acts a bit too old for her age, but she's nice. She prys a bit too much into my life though. She wants to be an instructor. She'll probably be one in 2 years! So, why was I under the desk? I punched Seifer in the gut. I was afraid and ran. I'm so stupid. I should have stayed and fought! Oh well...It's over. So, I've been trying to avoid Bette...even though we're in the same class. I just try not to talk to her anymore. I really wanna stay her friend, but I'm too embarassed now. Somebody's at my door..."

_"Who is it?", Squall called as he closed his diary._

_"It's Zell!", the voice on the other side of the door said. _

_Squall hopped off of his bed and opened the door. "Hey, Zell"._

_"Yo"_

_Squall waited for more words to pour from Zell's mouth, but he continued to stand in silence. "Uhm...What do you want?"_

_"I heard you're really good with a gunblade"_

_"Oh...And?"_

_"Could you train wit' me?"_

_"Right now?"_

_"Are ya too busy?" Zell's face grew disappointed._

_"Oh...uh...no!" Squall grabbed his gunblade off of his desk. "Let's go"._

_The two young men walked to the training centre, without saying a word to each other. They entered the training centre and Squall started to get his gunblade ready as Zell stretched._

_"Ready?", Zell called._

_"Yeah"_

_Zell took his position. His arms up and his hands in fists, he bounced back and forth on both feet._

_Squall stood in place and waited for Zell to make his move, but Zell remained where he was, still bouncing. "C'mon, Zell", He said._

_Zell ran towards him and threw his fist in Squall face._

_Squall flinced, expecting to be hit. "W-what?"_

_"I'm not really gonna hit you! Just like you're not really gonna cut me...right?"_

_"Oh...of course"_

_Zell went back to his place and almost instantly, attacked Squall again. This time, Squall swiped the blade upwards, almost cutting Zell._

_"Whoa, man!" Zell jumped backwards, "Take it easy!"_

_"Sorry"._

_"You okay?"_

_"Yeah. I'm fine"_

_"You sure? I saw what happened with Seifer ealier. You shouldn't let 'im get to you. I just ignore 'im. Well, I try to. He just makes me so mad!!"_

_Squall nodded and took a step backwards._

_"I'm fine. I'm fine" Zell brushed off his shirt. "Yo, I think we trained enough today. I'll talk to you tomorrow, kay?" And he left._

_"Alright", Squall said, as Zell walked off._

"It was Zell. I guess he's a good guy. I just can't stand how hyper he always is!" Selphie continued "He wanted me to train with him. I was still too pissed at Seifer to concentrate. I almost cut Zell's arm off! It was so embarrasing! I'm supposed to be a **skilled** gunblader! I have to start concentrating more on my work. I can't let anybody disrupt me!".

"I'm not hyper!" Zell stood up.

"Did I really act much too old for my age?" Quistis seemed to be in deep thought.

"Heeeeeeeey" Selphie closed the diary. "Don't get so worked up!"

"He wrote that when he was younger", Irvine added, "He probably didn't feel that way later".

"Yeah!" Selphie handed the diary to Quistis "Here. You choose the next part to read, okay?"

Quistis took the diary "A-alright". She flipped through her former friends' diary, past the Timber Maniac clippings and the nearly illegible entries she found uninteresting. "The SeeD exams are in two weeks and I only have a few training sessions left. Today, we have to learn to dance. Oh Hyne, this is gonna be hell...".

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_Chapter 4's on its' way! Things are gonna get juicy! No yaoi, people. XP ...but then again...*evil grin* Hehe_


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